×
Two Together: Save £100!Save £100 when you purchase two funeral plans together. Call us for more details.
Written by Emily Cross.
16 minute read
When someone you love dies, it is perfectly understandable to be left with questions about what happens next. Alongside the emotional questions that may arise during this time, there are also a number of practical things you might find yourself wondering about—some of them, perhaps, relating to the chapel of rest
The process of making funeral arrangements is one that should unfold at a pace you feel comfortable with, and for many, it begins with a time of reflection in the chapel of rest. This private room offers a quiet space where you can spend some time alone with your loved one, if you wish. For some, it can be a gentle source of comfort as they begin to grieve and start thinking about the funeral or memorial.
As a team that is always here to help, we believe that sometimes all you need are some pieces of advice you can refer back to when you need to. Our guide will introduce you to the concept of the chapel of rest so that you know what to expect and how to make use of this private facility. Once you feel ready to continue making plans and preparations, we are always here should you wish to receive help with flexible options such as our direct cremation services.
We hope you find some words of support and comfort in the following passages.
Key takeaways:
The chapel of rest is a private room, usually within a funeral home or hospital where you can spend time with and request to view the body of your loved one without being interrupted. It can be a moving and healing experience that you may find helps with learning how to deal with grief.
The chapel of rest is a peaceful space for private viewings and final goodbyes that can be found in many hospitals and funeral homes. It functions as a dedicated space where the family, close friends, and loved ones can begin to grieve and reflect on the death of someone they cared about. If the hospital has a chapel of rest, you may wish to arrange the date at which your loved one will be transferred to your chosen funeral home so that you can plan ahead.
Access to the chapel, while in principle available to everyone, is typically granted to immediate family, next of kin and close friends. Chapels of rest that are based in hospitals, in particular, may have to work with a variety of different cultural and religious sensibilities, so a caring and accommodating nature can be expected from those who work there.
The focus of the chapel, regardless of who is visiting, is to offer dignity, respect, and emotional support by providing a private setting that people can use in a variety of ways.
Knowing what to do when someone dies is as much about the practical considerations to some of us as it is about the emotional side of things. If you find that you fall into their category, you may find it helps to know how the chapel of rest works and how it functions.
Families can schedule visits to spend time with their loved one by contacting either the funeral director or the hospital, depending on where the chapel of rest is. A dedicated member of staff will be responsible for providing scheduling details and making sure that your loved one is ready and presented how you wish prior to your arrival.
While the pull to visit and say goodbye can certainly feel overwhelming, it may be the case that walk-in appointments are not possible. Particularly in the case of a chapel of rest in a hospital, there may be someone else who is already using the space to pay their own respects to a person they have lost. Wherever possible, making contact in advance and scheduling a time may be the most practical approach.
Although chapels of rest in hospitals will generally have extended opening hours, it may be worth noting that sometimes traditional funeral homes will keep to business hours. Asking about your options over the phone may help save you from anxiety at a potentially difficult time.
The staff in the chapel of rest will take responsibility for dressing and styling your loved one in a way that aligns with how you wish to remember them. This could include applying makeup, putting them in a particular outfit, or styling their hair.
You may also find that the funeral director recommends embalming — a chemical process that slows down the natural changes in the body so that a more peaceful appearance is retained for longer. Having someone work on your loved one in this way may feel impersonal, perhaps even upsetting, but you can rest assured it’s always done with the utmost care and respect. That said, in the case of direct cremation, embalming is seldom encouraged, as there’s typically no viewing before the cremation takes place.
Funeral directors and people who work in the chapel of rest will be well-versed in different cultural nuances and religious sensibilities and will have years of experience following the wishes of people who are experiencing profound grief. At all times, they will treat you and the person who has died with dignity, kindness, and respect.
Trying to figure out what to do when someone dies in hospital or a care home may feel overwhelming, especially if you find yourself in unfamiliar surroundings. With this in mind, it is natural to ask questions and look for answers.
Although there’s no fixed period of time that your loved one can remain a chapel of rest, they will generally be kept there until the funeral or memorial service. Most funeral homes will be equipped with refrigerated units that allow them to provide dignified and appropriate storage that can help to preserve your loved one as you remember them.
While it might be tempting to focus on specific timeframes, it’s more helpful to understand that certain decisions are guided by practical and legal considerations. That said, you do have some say in how things are handled — such as whether or not embalming takes place, how long you’d like to spend visiting your loved one, and whether they are placed in or out of their coffin during those visits.
Every funeral director or member of hospital staff in the chapel of rest will be familiar with the highly sensitive nature of such requests and will ensure you are treated with respect and dignity. If you are unsure about what you want to request, you may find it helpful to speak with the funeral director and ask them what is typically done given your circumstances.
Do you have to pay to see someone in the chapel of rest?
Visiting a chapel of rest in a hospital is always free, but not every hospital will have a chapel of rest. Your loved one will generally be transported to a funeral home closer to the funeral to prepare them for the service.
While many funeral homes will include the use of the chapel of rest in their standard fees, there may be times when a small premium is charged if you need to visit your loved one outside of their stated opening hours. You may wish to clarify this before choosing a funeral director if you anticipate having such a need.
It’s perfectly understandable if talking about costs and prices is the last thing that is on your mind right now, but finding a way to do so may help you find a solution you are most comfortable with. Some next of kin find that working with a close friend or relative of the person who has died can be helpful in terms of clarifying their thinking and collecting the required details and information.
While coming to terms with the death of a loved one is a personal experience, it may be helpful to reflect on the cultural sensitivities of other relatives and close friends.
Spending time with your loved one may well help to provide a sense of emotional closure, particularly in the case of the unexpected death of a loved one where you have not prepared yourself to say goodbye. Some reading this may find the prospect of seeing the body of someone they love laying motionless an upsetting prospect, in which case you may find it helps to make your visit with a close friend or relative, or forgo a viewing.
You may also decide that while you are happy for others to visit your loved one, you don’t feel comfortable in doing so yourself. This is okay, especially in a period of intense grief and emotion, and not something that you should feel judged for. You have the right to process your loss in any way that you feel helps, and if that means staying away from the chapel of rest, that is your decision to make.
There may also be close friends or members of the family with other beliefs systems or from cultures where visiting the chapel of rest may not be the done thing. Just as you have the right to decline to visit, so do they, and their absence is in no way an indication of a lack of respect or sympathy.
Chapels of rest are adaptable to a range of spiritual and cultural needs, with some even including prayer areas or space for quiet rituals of a religious nature. While in an ideal world every local area would have places dedicated to every faith and belief system, in reality this may not be the case where you are in the UK. In this case, having access to a welcoming and accommodating space that invites you to shape it in line with your own outlook on the world and views of death may provide a great source of comfort.
Funeral directors are experts when it comes to figuring out how to accommodate special requests respectfully so that you feel treated with dignity at all times. They will be able to strike the right balance between double-checking precisely what you need and expect and making sure that you are given the time and space you need with your loved one. Finding a funeral director you feel comfortable liaising with regarding such matters may make the process of visiting your loved one and saying your final goodbye that little bit easier.
What to expect during a visit
Some people may find that visualising their time in the chapel of rest before their visit can help them process their emotions and face what can be a daunting prospect.
The chapel of rest is designed to provide an atmosphere that is quiet, peaceful, and free from interruptions from outside matters. You can think about it as your own little private space to use as you wish for the duration of your appointment. While there is no right or wrong way to say your final goodbye, you may find it helpful to consider some of the ways others approach this moment in their lives:
Contacting the funeral director — or the relevant hospital department if applicable — to book a time to see your loved one may be a good idea. It can help you avoid the uncertainty of a walk-in appointment where you cannot be guaranteed that the chapel of rest won’t already be in use.
Many chapels of rest are set up to offer you multiple extended visits if you want to see your loved one more than once. Doing so can give you time to think about how you want the funeral service and other events after death to unfold. We can also help with certain types of service and you may find that following a funeral planning checklist helps as well.
As a family-run funeral provider who cares about providing support and doing the right thing, we believe that the way we help should extend far beyond helping you make arrangements. By putting together this guide, our intention has been to guide you through what to expect, provide words of support where we can, and hopefully make the process feel more accessible than before you began reading.
Once you have said goodbye and have started to think about how you want to pay tribute to them, we are always here to help. And if you find that the experience stirs a sense of wanting to get your own affairs in order, you may find that our prepaid funeral plans provide you peace of mind while you are still alive.
We know that everyone processes grief and loss in their own unique way, that’s why we have built a team of kind and compassionate people who are always here for you. Please feel free to reach out and connect whenever you are ready if you feel we can help.
If you have any questions, would like a brochure or simply would like a chat through our services, our award-winning team is here to help.
Unlike other providers, we won’t hassle you with constant calls. We’ll simply ensure you have the information you need and leave you to come to a decision in your own time. When you’re ready for us, our team will be ready to help.
What is a chapel of rest?
A chapel of rest is a private room within a hospital or funeral home where you can go to view the body of the person who has died. It is a space in which you can be alone with them, talk to them, and start to sit with the feelings and emotions that may only just be coming to the surface. Some people also find it helpful to view a visit to the chapel of rest as an opportunity to say a final farewell to someone they love.
How is a body prepared for viewing?
In advance of the first viewing in the chapel of rest, the body of your loved one will typically be washed, dressed, styled, and potentially embalmed. If the chapel of rest is within a funeral home, the funeral director may also place the body inside the coffin, although this is typically done with the blessing of the next of kin. You may also find that you wish hair and makeup to be styled so that your loved one can be viewed as you remember them.
What should I expect when visiting?
It’s typical to attend the chapel of rest in clothing that is less formal than traditional funeral attire. You can attend by yourself, with someone else, or with others in a series of smaller groups. Seating will be provided by the hospital or funeral home, allowing you to sit with your loved one for an extended period of time.
How you spend this time is a deeply personal choice that is entirely up to you. Some people like to play music and talk to their loved one, while others are more drawn towards a time of silent reflection. You may find that it helps to visualise how you will spend those first few moments with your loved one.
Is the chapel of rest private?
Yes, the chapel of rest is a purpose-built private space in a funeral home or hospital where you can view the body of someone who has died, or simply spend time with them. While you can play music or talk out loud to your loved one if you wish, the setting itself will be presented to you in a quiet and understated manner as a sign of respect. You will be able to book specific times to visit that will ensure you are not interrupted or called away by other matters.
Who can access the chapel of rest?
There are no legal restrictions on who can visit the chapel of rest and spend time with the person who has died. A general unspoken rule you may find it helpful to be aware of is that the next of kin is typically asked for permission before visiting. This is a sign of respect for their loss and also ensures that they have the first choice when it comes to times they may wish to visit. It may also be the case that there are some people who the next of kin or close family feel should not be allowed to visit, and that preventing them from doing so in a polite manner can save them undue pressure at a difficult time.
staging site last replicated: MISSINGNO.