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Written by Emily Cross.
11 minute read
Losing the person who raised or cared for you, in whatever form that took, can be one of life’s most painful moments, but you do not have to go through it alone.
While it is understandable if you find the prospect of planning a funeral while coping with the death of a parent overwhelming, there are some small steps you can take once you feel ready. Many people find support and solace in searching for songs for their mum’s funeral, and it may also provide you with time to think and reflect on what everything means.
We completely understand that you may not even wish to think about funeral songs for your mum right now, but we want you to know that we are always right here when you need us. Our role as a provider of direct cremation services extends far beyond simply taking bookings — we believe in playing an active part in supporting others through grief.
We hope that you find some words of comfort and support in the following guide.
Key takeaways:
There is often a great deal of emotional significance to the music you choose to play because it is a tribute that everyone will be a part of. You may wish to say goodbye to your mum with a calming classical funeral song that shows your love and gratitude for her, or select something a little more unconventional, like a fun and uplifting funeral song to make you remember the good times. Some families find comfort in choosing a combination—perhaps starting with a gentle instrumental piece, followed by a more personal or upbeat track that reflects her personality. Mixing styles like this can help capture the full spirit of your mum’s life: the quiet, heartfelt moments as well as the laughter and warmth she brought to those around her.
If you feel like you just don’t know where to start, you may find it helpful to have a look at our guide that covers the best funeral songs ever. Take your time and move at a pace that feels right and it could help you to process your emotions and start to come to terms with what has happened. You may also find that having a brief look at our words on the five stages of grief helps as well.
There’s no set way to choose funeral songs for your mum, but it can be helpful to look at how others have approached it over the years.
While we never wish to prescribe or dictate which way your service should evolve, you may find it helpful to consider a few of the following religious funeral songs. Each one is a classic take on grief, loss, death, and mourning with a message designed to speak to the heart:
You may find that listening to each of them in turn gives you a chance to begin processing some of your emotions and thinking about what your mother meant to you. Alternatively, you may want to connect some of the following classical pieces that are often played at funerals:
Finding something more contemporary may feel like more of a natural choice given how you want to remember your mum. If she was known for loving a particular artist or genre, you may wish to consider playing some of their songs as a fitting tribute. Here are a few examples of songs that many families feel strike the right balance:
It’s understandable if you find the process emotional or overwhelming, especially when you consider the complex range of emotions and the seemingly never-ending array of song choices. Taking a moment to discuss how you feel with a close friend or loved one may help you feel a sense of balance.
You may make the decision that your mum’s funeral is going to be a celebration of the woman she was and the life she led. Your choice of music can help all those in attendance understand this and give them a starting point from which to share happy memories and the good times they shared with your mum. Here are some popular song choices to consider:
You may also find it helpful to take a look at our order of service examples so that you continue the theme of positive, uplifting energy throughout the entirety of the service. Finding a way to set the tone for the service that feels right could help you achieve a degree of closure on the day so that you can remember your mum exactly as you wish.
While many tend to follow the tried and trusted British funeral traditions that exist, some families opt to incorporate more personalised elements. For many, losing a mother is one of life’s most emotional moments. Music can help make sense of the feelings that follow, often expressing what words cannot by stirring memories and emotion.
If your mum had songs she loved, sang or hummed, these can be a meaningful starting point. A familiar tune may feel like a personal tribute and connect with others who knew her, and reflecting on what she enjoyed listening to can also offer comfort and help you think about what she meant to you.
While you might feel pressure to choose the perfect music, you don’t have to decide alone. Talking with family about songs and memories can ease that pressure and give space to share stories and support one another. Some families may also decide that they prefer the atmosphere and personalisation a live performance can provide above and beyond that offered by a recording. The choice is very much a personal one and neither is right or wrong — it’s more a matter of thinking about what your mum would have liked.
You may also find it helpful to take a look at our end-of-life celebration ideas if you feel it is useful to you. There are ideas and suggestions that could allow you to find a new way of integrating your choice of funeral music in a way you feel comfortable with.
A minimum of three songs are typically included in a fully attended funeral service to cover the entrance, exit, and a period of reflection during the service. If your family is instead having a more intimate funeral, you can choose as many songs as you’d like that will fit within the time frame. Many families select one for entry and one for exit with these smaller, more private services.
Getting the balance to feel right is a personal process that may take time and it’s something you should feel you are able to work through at your own pace. You may also find it helpful to coordinate your efforts with the civil celebrant, the officiant, funeral director, or the venue so that the appropriate song arrangements can be made. Doing so can help things run smoothly on the day.
If you wish to make the process of choosing funeral songs for your mum a shared experience, you may consider creating a memorial playlist for guests. They could then add their own suggestions and the extended playlist could be played at the wake or memorial service afterwards. You also do not have to limit yourself purely to songs if you don’t want to; some families find that a blend of songs, popular UK funeral hymns, and even non-religious funeral poems read alongside background music can form a suitable tribute. Taking time to reflect may help you to decide what feels right in your case.
As a family-run funeral provider with a strong belief in the personal nature of grief, we believe that our role should always extend far beyond simply making arrangements. Alongside our range of cremation services, we offer guides that allow you to compare funeral plans should you find them helpful when it’s time to start clarifying your thinking.
Providing support for those left behind is central to what we do, and offering some guidance on how to possibly select funeral songs to pay tribute to your mum is only one part of that. If you have read this guide and begun to reflect on what will happen to the loved ones you will eventually leave behind, you may find it useful to take a look at our prepaid funeral plans* when you feel emotionally ready.
No matter what stage of grief you find yourself in, our team is always ready to offer a kind, caring, and compassionate ear when you need it. We feel it’s the least we can do.
*Terms and conditions apply. You will receive a funeral plan summary before purchase.
The best funeral songs are purely personal choices and something that you should never feel pressured into making. You have the freedom to pay your respects however you see fit, and that certainly extends to the choice of music. Finding something that speaks to your heart and allows you to remember your mother for who she was may help you begin to navigate the grieving process.
Some choose a traditional or religious song focused on giving thanks, while others prefer modern funeral songs. Matching the style of music to the nature of the funeral service or memorial may help you to find the right balance. If you find a song that feels right and speaks to your heart, you may decide you want to share it with a few close relatives or your partner as part of your decision-making process.
Ed Sheeran’s “Supermarket Flowers” is a beautiful tribute to the love and support a mother offers her children regardless of what life throws at them. Bette Midler’s “Wind Beneath My Wings” is another popular choice, this time more focused on the inner strength a mother carries with her through life. For those looking to explore this idea a little further, listening to “You Raise Me Up” by Josh Groban may help you come to terms with how you’re feeling right now.
Taking time to reflect on what your mum meant to you and how her favourite songs reflected how she chose to live her life may be insightful. If a song was closely associated with her, or it stirs strong emotions or evokes a clear memory in your mind, you may wish to add the song to your shortlist.
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