×
Two Together: Save £100!Save £100 when you purchase two funeral plans together. Call us for more details.
Written by Emily Cross.
15 minute read
Some people find comfort in reading thoughtful, honest books about death. The right words can bring a shift in how we see things—offering space to reflect, grieve, or simply feel less alone. It won’t be the right time for everyone, and that’s okay. But if and when you are ready, you may find those pages give a little clarity, and help you gently move towards peace.
When you are forced to navigate the complex world of grief and grieving while still continuing with life, it may be hard to know how to keep moving forward. Our intention with this guide is to show you that if you feel able to connect with the words of some of the world’s most comforting thinkers, you will never truly be alone.
Over the course of many years providing direct cremation services as a family-run funeral provider, we have had the honour of hearing from some truly incredible people. We have used these experiences combined with our own thoughts and ideas to offer a range of suggestions you may wish to consider.
Key takeaways:
If you are searching for guidance on how to cope with the death of a parent, for example, you may decide that a particular piece of literature holds a lot of emotional and psychological significance. Alternatively, you may find it comforting to work through a memoir by someone you feel able to relate to and whose choice of words makes you feel like they are opening up to you.
Many people find that the daily act of reading gives them the time and space required to process, reflect, and find comfort in many other areas of life.
If you are searching for a book about death that will help you go about remembering a loved one in a way that feels authentic, you may feel it is hard to know where to start. We hope the following section helps provide a starting point for your journey.
An emotionally resonant memoir that recounts personal experiences of loss or dying in a way that you feel an emotional connection with could make a difference to your healing process. One of the reasons for this is that introspective stories offer potential space for healing, new insights, and a degree of authenticity that you may feel is missing from a work of fiction. Notable examples of this genre include:
Using these books as a starting point and then exploring other options that you may feel you wish to consider could help you find a few voices that resonate with you on a deeper level.
Thinking about how to deal with grief is something that many of us wrestle with at some point in our lives, and it’s something many of the world’s greatest minds have invested a great deal of energy in. Fiction provides a powerful framework within which to explore grief and death in a way that allows the reader to see themselves reflected in the moods, thoughts, and feelings of the characters:
If you feel a connection or emotional resonance with one of these titles, you may find that making reading a daily ritual helps you anchor yourself. Reading has also been shown to calm the mind and soften intense emotions at a time when so much else in life seems to be changing.
No list of books on death would be complete without some mention of the practical guides and self-help books that are out there. Some discuss the different symbols of grief and what they mean to the reader while others are more focused on actionable steps that you can put into practice as and when you feel ready:
Having a book that you feel a connection with may help guide you and anchor you during a time when so much of what you have been used to may feel like it is changing. Some find that feeling a sense of companionship with the writer, and keeping the book close to them, can help with the healing process by providing a timely sense of support.
Learning about what to do when someone dies is such a complex, emotional journey that typically extends far beyond the practical matters. Sometimes what’s needed is the time and space to be at one with your thoughts, while at other times you may find that you have to talk to younger members of the family about what death and grief mean.
There are many books that provide comfort and emotional support to those grieving and trying to achieve a sense of closure, each with their own voice:
Regardless of your approach, it is emotionally valid and not something anyone can judge you for. Finding a voice and writing style that you can resonate with and connect with may help you work through the complex range of emotions that you are experiencing at this time.
When a parent has to tell their child that someone close to them has died, it may begin with knowing how to break bad news, but can extend for many months and years afterward.
Some parents find that gently introducing their children to books about dying helps explain what may be a completely alien or overwhelming concept to them when they are still so young.
The following titles are often cited for their combination of age-appropriate writing, clear themes, and accessibility:
The choice of book here is perhaps the most personal and emotional of all the various steps covered in this guide, and this is something we are deeply conscious of. If you feel that reading to your child will help, but that the books above do not connect with them, there is an entire genre of gentle storytelling books that you may wish to explore in a little more detail.
There are many stories about death in the literary world, many of which focus on a specific set of recurring themes. Love, memory, legacy, and the human condition are all frequently discussed and mixed together to create an accurate reflection of what someone who is grieving will feel and experience during the healing process.
You may find that attempting to emulate a particular style of writing that resonates with you helps you to clarify your thinking. Others find that taking a moment to pause and reflect at the end of each chapter of a book gives them space to be alone with their thoughts. Every approach is equally valid here and the only thing that matters is to arrive at a place you feel comfortable with.
Exploring the best life-affirming books may help you process how you feel and reading about the meaning and impact of death could help you to clarify your thinking. This may prove to be particularly helpful if you are someone who struggled to decide how to announce a death to friends without causing yourself greater upset.
Books may have the ability to provide you with a safe space to explore pain, fear, and reflection at a pace that you feel comfortable with. Many people find that making time for themselves and sitting with the thoughts of another human being gives them permission to start deconstructing and processing their own thoughts. This simple act may also help ground you in the present if you find that your mind is racing or that your emotions are constantly ebbing and flowing.
Go back to the thousands of ancient myths and legends about death and then jump right back to the present day and consider the thousands of grief guides and you will see a common theme. Every writer is influenced by their own outlook on life and personal experiences when it comes to dealing with the emotions that come with the death of someone they love. The beauty of this is that the words you will see on the page have a degree of authenticity that allows you to connect with them on a deeper level.
While you will know a book that resonates with you as soon as you find it, you may find it helpful to consider these key things to look out for:
Knowing that the author is writing from the heart and is making every effort to connect with you and allow you to understand how you feel may be a moving experience. Some find that they like to read the same book several times, while others find that simply having a copy in close proximity helps prevent feelings of social and emotional isolation from taking hold.
Regardless of how you decide to approach this complex topic, you will never be alone.
We believe that our job extends far beyond help with practical considerations. Our real goal here is to show you that you always have people who can help and that there are people who care. No matter what you may be feeling right now, there are always ways you can move forward that will allow you to heal and grow again.
If reflecting on death and grief has made you think about your own legacy and what you may leave behind, you may find it helpful to consider our *prepaid funeral plans. Making arrangements in advance can help ease the emotional and practical pressures on your loved ones. If helpful, we also have a guide comparing funeral plans for you to explore at your own pace.
You are never alone. Help, support, and guidance are always available.
*Terms and conditions apply. You will receive a funeral plan summary before purchase.
The best books are the ones that you feel a connection with and that help you come to terms with what you are going through. What works for you may not feel right for someone else and vice versa. Taking your time to find a writing style and an author you connect with may help you to heal and find acceptance in a way that feels right.
Notes on Grief is a moving memoir by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie that is presented in 30 short chapters. The accessible format and personal style of writing make it feel more like a companion than a commitment, and this is something that you may feel is particularly important at a time when your emotional and mental energy may already be drained.
The Invisible String by Patrice Karst is a moving tale with a clear story and beautiful illustrations. Reading it with your children may help them to gradually understand what has happened and start developing their own set of coping mechanisms. The book is also highly readable, meaning that they will likely want to revisit it several times.
Many authors find inspiration by reflecting on their personal experiences and then attempting to find creative or artistic ways to convey these experiences to the reader. They combine literary talent with a human side to their writing that results in work that has the ability to speak to millions of people on a variety of different levels.
Yes, many people who are grieving have found that reading about death can help them to heal, achieve acceptance, and fully come to terms with what has happened in their lives. Taking your time and being patient with yourself may help you pace your efforts so that you don’t expend too much emotional energy.
The Book Thief by Markus Zusak is written from the perspective of Death himself, allowing the reader to think and reflect on the circle of life and universal elements of the human condition. Another notable title is The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis which blends make-believe and fantasy with parts of life many people around the world have found they can readily relate to.
Self-help books are a common choice for people who are looking for help with grief. Of particular note is the work of Jordan Peterson which goes beyond talking about grief and focuses on a wide array of different elements of life. Some have found that the insights his work provides give them a clearer understanding of their place in the world and can improve their ability to cope with unexpected and upsetting situations.
staging site last replicated: MISSINGNO.