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Written by Emily Cross.
17 minute read
Finding the words that convey how you feel is something that many of us struggle with at a time when our emotions may be changing in ways we have never experienced before. We want to be able to reach out and share our condolences, but it may feel like there is too much emotional weight on our shoulders to find a way to do it that feels right. This is understandable, natural, and something many others are experiencing right now…you are not alone.
As providers of direct cremation services that are designed to give families flexible, heartfelt ways to process grief and death, we often hear grief and loss quotes and phrases that strike a delicate balance. We hope that by sharing some of them with you today, we can play a small part in helping you continue your journey and move forward in life.
Key takeaways
We believe that the role of a family-run funeral provider should extend far beyond the practical matters and logistical considerations you may be presented with at this difficult time. With so much to do and so many complex emotions and feelings to navigate, sometimes it’s seeing things from a new perspective that may make all the difference. Choosing a quote or series of quotes that strike the right tone may help you to express how you are feeling and to bring other mourners out of themselves so that they can connect and share how they are feeling.
Your choice of quotes, while clearly personal and unique, should aim to match the tone of the ceremony where possible. We don’t wish to prescribe any particular direction here as the grief is yours to navigate and process, but you may find it helps to consider the tone of the service: comforting, spiritual, celebratory, etc. This may allow you to find words that you and your fellow mourners feel a deeper sense of connection to.
Considering the wider context of the death you are trying to process and navigate right now may also help you clarify your search for words with appropriate tone and meaning. The sense of emotion, the precise nature of the timing, and the audience who will receive your words may all need to be considered when selecting a quote.
An example of this would be if you are mourning the death of a young member of the family and the next of kin has expressed a wish to make the service celebratory yet still respectful. In this case, a gentle, uplifting, and heartfelt tone may strike the right balance between respected restraint and positive messaging.
There are so many different symbols of grief that sometimes it may feel overwhelming trying to choose which one you want to use. Quotes are some of the simplest to consider because they come in such a wide variety of different tones and styles, allowing you to find one that fits the message you want to convey.
Many people we have the honour of serving tell us that choosing to use a quote during a eulogy for a friend or in a ceremony program allows them to express how they feel without having to find the words themselves. There are also many others who prefer to use a quote on memorial cards so that they can convey a message that feels personal and authentic.
Sharing messages in this way may help you to offer support and comfort during moments of shared grief so that you can show others you are still there for them. This is especially important when you consider that, while some open up and keep themselves busy, others unintentionally withdraw and isolate themselves from those around them.
You may also find that personalising quotes by slightly rewriting them so that they mention your loved one by name helps to make them more meaningful. Some people find that doing so helps them to feel like they are directly addressing the person who has died and telling them how they are coping.
Every family will approach the act of talking about death and dying in a personal way guided by the personalities and relationships of those involved. Each and every approach is equally valid and not something that you should ever feel judged for. To this end, you may find it helps to consider some funeral quotes specifically for family members.
Being faced with having to figure out how to go about remembering a parent, child, or sibling is something that many of us will face at some point, and yet many of us find ourselves doubting how we feel. If you feel torn between two or more different approaches, you may find that reflecting on the following quotes may help:
Each of these quotes has been chosen to reflect a sense of deep and enduring love, personal grief, and the universal nature of family bonds. Considering how these words allow you to relate how you are feeling back to your memories of the person who has died may help you to move forward.
Figuring out how to deal with grief is something that may take time and several different approaches, and this is something that is completely understandable. If you and your family choose a celebratory approach that brings people together and allows them to open up, you may find that some of the following quotes help:
The purpose of these various choices of words is to convey a sense of positive, celebratory direction without unintentionally minimising what may still be a profound sense of grief. Some who are perhaps more traditional in how they grieve may find it a little harder to open up in this way, but at the same time may find that doing so allows them to connect with members of the wider family in a way that they may not have been able to otherwise.
Having some understanding about how different members of the family — particularly different generations — may approach a celebratory funeral service may help you to make allowances and move beyond emotional barriers.
One of the most common reasons to look for quotes that pay respect to your friend is being
asked to write and deliver the eulogy by the next of kin. If you are considering our eulogy template as a starting point and want to add some additional personal touches, the following section may help you strike the right balance.
You may find considering quotes that reflect the closeness and loyalty of friendship helps you when searching for the right wording:
While family members may be more emotional or more reserved at times, you may find that friends are more likely to express sorrow through shared memories and feelings. Some find that highlighting the depth of their friendship with quotes similar to those above and then following with tributes that reflect laughter, love, and time spent together feels natural. If this feels right to you, you may find that a period of personal reflection helps you to tie everything together.
If you feel that some of the more traditional funeral poems are a little too long or formal, you may find it helpful to consider some of the following short funeral messages:
They each have a deep sense of emotional resonance and a natural simplicity that allows them to connect with a wide array of different people. You may also find that they feel suitable for both formal and informal settings, allowing you to feel comfortable with your choices if you are not quite sure what the family would like. Sitting with your choice and then sharing it with a close friend may help you to settle on a choice of words that conveys everything you wish to say.
The act of remembering a loved one is a very personal one and part of a longer journey of grieving and healing. With this in mind, you may find that reflecting in more detail on any quotes you choose to add to the eulogy may help you, not just in the build-up to the service, but in the weeks and months that follow. There are some simple steps that will allow you to break this highly personal process down if you wish to make it a little easier.
Integrating quotes into a eulogy meaningfully is a subtle balancing act and one that you can pull off with real authenticity when you have a quote that comes from the heart. Trying to use quotes in a way that will complement personal stories and reflections could help you tie things together in a way that frames how you feel about the person who has died. For this reason, using a quote at the end so that your fellow mourners can sit with it and have it in their minds as the service continues may prove to be the most purposeful approach.
If you are figuring out how to cope with the death of a parent who was spiritual or religious, you may find that sharing quotes along similar lines to the following helps:
Because of the multitude of different faiths, religions, and spiritual outlooks, we have decided not to try and include a definitive list of different approaches, but rather to focus on intentions. The quotes you will see above are designed to speak to the heart in a way that is both respectful to the individual and to the culture within which they find themselves. Approaching selecting quotes in this manner may help guide you through the many nuances and sensitivities that may come into play at such a difficult time.
Every death, every service, and every family is unique and that means that finding the right quote is never a one-size-fits-all approach. Taking time to reflect on what death means and who your fellow mourners are may help you to find a way to grieve that allows you to feel aligned with the journey you are all jointly on.
Resources like poetry books, famous literature, and religious and spiritual texts each offer a variety of different sparks of inspiration that you may feel connected with. Although there is no shortage of online databases of quotes, you may find that conducting your own search and coming across a choice of words in a way that feels more natural is a better fit for what you want to achieve. After all, if you already love and admire the work of a particular author or writer, perhaps you will find some deep sense of meaning in what they have had to say about death, mourning, and grief.
Many people from around the world have found that putting pen to paper has helped them to process and understand their own feelings. Whether it be the authors of stories about death that have passed down generations or unknown writers simply personalising a single quote, each contribution has a real meaning to it.
Writing from the heart and sharing a memory, feeling, or image that you have of the person who has died may help you to start the creative process. You may also find that writing your quote as if the person who has died is sitting next to you and talking could help. Letting the words flow onto the page without trying to constrain them or make them fit into some predetermined framework may help you strike the right balance between thoughtful expression and emotional authenticity.
People from all walks of life use funeral quotes to help them navigate the five stages of grief, to share how they feel, and to bring other mourners out of themselves to create stronger connections. Thinking about how others use funeral quotes may help you to navigate how you are feeling and understand how to make the right choice for the service.
Mourners may often find that a particular quote allows them to encapsulate how they feel in a single memorable line. It may feel like something that they can anchor themselves to, that they want to share with others, or that strikes a note with them that allows them to connect with how they feel on a deeper level.
Speakers may find that a quote allows them to connect with the people who are listening in a way that saves them from having to repeat key sentiments at length. Sometimes it’s about finding a way to express how many people are feeling, while at other times it’s about giving them something they can take away and think about in the weeks and months that lie ahead.
We care about providing a level of help that extends far beyond the purely practical matters you would expect from us. If you are reading this and have come to reflect on the legacy you will leave behind for your loved ones, our *prepaid funeral plans can help you get your own affairs in order in a way that you feel comfortable with. And if you are looking to *compare funeral plans with a little help from the experts, we’re here for that too, but that’s only one side of what we do.
We’ve written this guide, and many others just like it, so that you can find something to anchor yourself to that allows you to continue moving forward. We sincerely hope that you have found it useful and that there are little turns of phrase or new perspectives that you want to come back to in the weeks ahead.
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Absolutely, a quote is a popular way to convey how you feel, what your friend meant to you, and how they chose to live their life. The key point is to judge the mood and perspective of the rest of your fellow mourners and use this to guide you in your choice of quote.
Yes, every religion will have quotes that are designed specifically for use during funeral services and memorials. If you are reading on behalf of a religious family, you may find it helpful to double-check your choice of quote with a close relative so that you can remain sensitive to the many nuanced elements and sensitivities.
Here are a couple of examples that you may find help you start putting pen to paper:
Books, poems, speeches, and religious texts are all common places to look when you’re searching for a funeral quote that fits what you want to say and how you feel. There are also a variety of online databases that categorise thousands of different quotes by feeling, tone, and sentiment. Working through all of the various sources in a way that you find manageable and sustainable may help you find the choice of words that you are looking for.
One of the most common ways to do this is to include your friend’s name in the quote itself so that it reads as if you are talking directly to them. You could also share their life events, personal feelings, and outlook on life if you want to add a thoughtful personal touch to your choice of words.
“Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal,” is one of the most moving quotes we have found during the course of our reading. It covers the feeling of loss and emptiness that death can create while at the same time highlighting that there is still much that is left behind. Taking comfort in the memories that you have of a dear friend is something that may, understandably, not occur to you during the initial shock and deep sense of denial that an unexpected death can often trigger. As you move forward on your healing journey, knowing that you can find comfort in the memories may make you feel connected to the person who has died.
Thomas Campbell’s “To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die,” provides an emotional uplift that frames the death of a loved one in terms of the memories they created while still alive. Many people find that this fresh perspective allows them to find new ways of thinking about what their friend means to them and how they could continue moving forward as they begin to navigate their own healing journey.
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